fashion funnies: the new thong bikini...

"the stares!  you'd think people had never seen a thong before..."


enjoy the summer sun this weekend...

reynolds comics

men's corner: swimwear addition...

tis the season for some fun in the sun...and no better time to update your swimwear collection...the good thing...is most stores are stocking up on fall items...so you can find some great swimwear...on sale!

but being that it is summer...and it is rallied around fun...pool time...beach...bbq's...even you conservative types...step out of your box...and add some fun & flair to your  ensemble...

add in some great color...

9" cargo long board short

or pattern...like this fabulous plaid...

7" board short in chilmark plaid

stripes are a fun addition as well...

9" long board short in social stripe

can't decide?  go for several....show off your personal style with color & pattern...and most of all...have some fun in the sun...

fashion funnies: swimsuit discount...

enjoy the weekend!

photo source - unknown

fashion funnies: how to buy a bathing suit...

this was sent to me via email from my good friend judy...talk about a good laugh...not sure where the email originated...but for all of us who have been there...may this put a smile on your face...

When I was a child in the 1970s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered.  They were built to hold back and uplift, and they did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.  The mature woman has a choice, she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus that escaped from Disney's Fantasia, or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have?  I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room.  The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material.  The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe,  by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you would be protected from shark attacks.  Any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place I gasped in horror, my boobs had disappeared!

Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit.  It took a while to find the other.  At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups.  The mature woman is now meant to wear  her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump.  I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it.  The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides.  I looked like a lump of Playdough wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, "Oh, there you are," she said, admiring the bathing suit.

I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me.  I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two-piece that gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard-skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a black number with a midriff fringe and looked like a jellyfish in mourning.

I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fit, it was a two-piece affair with a shorts-style bottom and a loose blouse-type top.  It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it.  My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured.

When I got it home, I found a label that read, "Material might become transparent in water."

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too, I'll be the one in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt!

You'd better be laughing or rolling on the floor by this time.  Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain, with or without a stylish bathing suit! 

photo source

swimming in color...

springtime is an expected trigger for added splashes of color throughout one's wardrobe...so...whatever you do...don't stop before you get that colorful burst of color in your swimsuit as well...

yes...it is easy to gravitate to black...and talk yourself into it...because "black is slimming"...but...as long as you work on the right "type" of suit...color can be just as slimming...and oh...so much more...colorful...

i'm thinking of getting a new suit this year...although i love my current teal swimsuit...these are some that caught my eye...

so...when looking for a swimsuit...do you gravitate towards colors & prints?

badgley mischka "mb11" shirred maillot
nordstrom

nanette lepore "floral lover" one piece swimsuit
nordstrom

nanette lepore "seductress" one piece swimsuit
nordstrom

tommy bahama oxford stripe halter swimsuit
nordstrom

fashion funnies: "i feel good about me..."

"cathy" is always good for a laugh...this was in last weeks sunday paper...cathy is bathing suit shopping...such a fun activity...no?

saleswoman: welcome to the "i feel good about me" swimwear season!

saleswoman: plus-sized bikinis! abundant tanks! nice and roomy swim shorts and skirts!

saleswoman: real suits for the real bodies of real women!

saleswoman: this year every single one of us can face the swimsuits and say "i feel good about me!"

saleswoman: do you know why we can say "i feel good about me??"

cathy: because we're standing here fully clothed and the suits are way over there.

saleswoman: exactly, shall i ring one up that you can feel good about not putting on in the privacy of your own home?

quite the sales job...no?

(click on pic to enlarge)

men's corner: taking the plunge...

it seems that swimwear for men is getting shorter...are you ready for that? while most men are still pretty modest or perhaps less secure about the midriff...mr ronen jehezkel of parke & ronen...a swimwear store in chelsea, ny...brought up a good point in an article in the ny times last month..."a lifeguard for before you get to the beach"

"They don't want to try on the shorter trunks because they're too revealing, and I tell them, 'What, you think those long board shorts hide your belly?' Most guys, even if they're fat, their legs look good. Why not show those? Sure, we have the long board shorts, but they're cut very narrow, for the 'spaghettini', the tall, thin guys with skinny legs. You can't put them in the short trunks - it looks like a cheerleader skirt."

the popular swim trunk seems to be reminiscent of the old gym shorts...remember those? the vintage sports references seem familiar...but fortunately...the old gym-short feature of the elastic waistband is long gone...

bottom line...it is summer...pick a great color or print...and have fun...

parke and ronen swim trunks